Monday, March 30, 2009

Snoop on Martha Stewart

Awkward pairing or most awkward pairing?

Favorite quotes:

"White pepper? I ain't never heard of white pepper! I don't like that man! I dunno.. I want black pepper!

"Uh oh, let's see what Snoop's gonna add to Mashed Potatoes!"

Unfortunately it ends before he gets to stereotypically talk about chicken wings.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Sham-WOW guy beats up a hooker...

Well there goes Vince Shlomi. Loved his infomercials. Billy Mayes and Vince Shlomi were of course my favorite infomercial masters. I somehow doubt that Vince will get much more in the way of marketing jobs after this. It's unfortunate cause I loved him so much. He was so weird. I guess I now know how weird he really was.

Here's some videos of his past greatness:

This is especially unfortunate after Billy Mayes challenged Vince to a sell off two weeks ago. I really wanted to see how that played out (I guess it plays out with a beaten up hooker?)

I'm going to call this setup to a gag in an upcoming family guy episode: "Just like that time Vince Shlomi bit his tongue..."

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I'm part of a new blog.

So while this blog is a general thoughts blog about my life and stuff, I've been added on as a contributer to Sam's new blog. The title of it is based off of his most commonly uttered phrase: "Hello! Let me show ya something sweet!".

The idea of the blog is just to post sweet stuff. Sam is constantly finding little oddball things that are pretty cool, and it's just easier to make a big digital library of all the cool things he finds than to bookmark them all or just not remember them. He's still working on the format a little bit so we'll each have our own avatar and the site has a coherent style, but I think it's gonna be a nice bookmark for anyone if they're bored.

I'm not gonna stop posting stuff I'm interested in here, but all those little cool things that I find that I don't think warrant a whole post will be moved over into the something sweet blog.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The most amazing sheep herding video ever

I know that's not very high praise, but it will be impossible for anyone to ever get that comment again after this video:

Monday, March 16, 2009

wtf is this symbol??

We all drew this symbol.  Everyone.  Every American kid that was in elementary school in the early and mid 90's drew this symbol.  I posted this question on the GTF (cause I really really needed to know) and they even posted it on other forums.  Turns out no one there knows (one person claims they were doing it in Alaska in the mid-80's, so it's even farther spread than I originally thought).  Everyone associates it with something.  My school was in and around a city called Stillwater, so the local high school football team (Stillwater Ponies) was all about turning their S's into this dumb celtic knot S.

It's a real life meme.  Does anyone know what it comes from or why it suddenly cropped up in the late 80's?  What happened at that point in time to make us all agree that yes this is cool, and yes we must draw it on everything.  Maybe it's like Close Encounters of the Third Kind and we'll all see it inscribed in a mountain sometime be inexplicably drawn to it.

I am going crazy over what this symbol is and how it came to be, if anyone has any leads to tell me I will follow them.  I'm pretty confident it has something to do with skateboard/punk culture, but I can't figure much out beyond that.

Edit 03/18/09: We now have someone from Australia who says they did it, and someone who says they did it in 1981.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Rambo and the Forces of Freedom

So I have now seen all the Rambo movies.  I just watched the most recent one ("Rambo" aka: "First Blood Part IV") and I found that it was just like the others, and still full of the 80's style violence.  However it was oddly disturbing, I don't think I've ever seen so much Vietnam warzone-style rape in a movie before.  LOTS of rape in this movie.  I'm mildly interested in why I found the violence in this movie so much more disturbing than most 80's action movies I see.  Maybe it's because it wasn't always followed by a one-liner, it was just death after death after horribly violent gruesome death.

I wanted to see what critics thought of this movie.  Turns out the Rotten Tomators gave it a 36% (btw in case you were wondering, Beverly Hills Chihuahua got 41%).  I guess I can accept it as being kinda low, but it's no worse or better than the other Rambo movies, something I think the critics didn't keep in mind.  It very much stayed true to form. 

So when I looked up the score for this movie, I saw a whole bunch of other titles for Rambo movies I hadn't seen that got more and more ridiculous as I read on: "Rambo: The Rescue", "Rambo: First Strike", "Rambo: The Doomsday Machine", "Rambo: Raid on Las Vegas", "Rambo: Swamp Monster", "Rambo: Attack on El Dorado", "Rambo: Just Say No", "Rambo: When S.A.V.A.G.E. Stole Santa".

Okay what?

Well this is what:

Mechanical genius known as "Turbo!"

Master of Disguises named "Cat!"

Why thank you 1986.

I had no idea that this existed.  It actually makes me rather amazed that a movie series that was very very much rated R for a reason was then turned into a 65 episode children's TV show.   A movie series based on a man that lives with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and kills a bunch of people because they wouldn't leave him alone was turned into a saturday morning G.I. Joe clone.  I guess it's just something they did then.  They made Aliens toys, Predator toys, and Terminator toys, all movies that were rated R. 

This got me to check what movies are now turned into toys.  It seems PG-13 is the cap.  If toys are made now over the R rating they're actually figurines that are all cool and sculpted and expensive.  Action movies don't seem to want to step much over the PG-13 rating anymore however.

Top 5 grossing PG-13 movies:
The Dark Knight
Pirates of the Caribbean Dead Man's Chest
Star Wars Episode III Dead Man's Chest

All of these movies (except Titanic... Titanic was PG-13? Even though it had a breast? That explains a lot) have/had very lucrative toy franchises.

Top 5 Grossing R movies:
The Passion of the Christ
The Matrix Reloaded
Beverly Hills Cop
The Exorcist
Saving Private Ryan

All of these movies should have very lucrative toy franchises.  I'm assuming this has something to do with the columbine shootings.  I've heard all sorts of movies that had violence in them started toning everything down cause of that incident.  Scream 3 apparently had a big issue with that back when it was made.  I mean a similar thing happens now every time someone wants to do a movie about terrorists, plane hijackings, or a large disaster hitting a big city.

Anyway the DVD also had a really really horribly depressing small documentary on Burma and the civil war there.  It also talked about a bunch of other things about how apparently some of the violence (like how a 50 cal gun rips through people like tissue paper, how the regime in burma actually works, how the things that happen there are depicted in the movie) are all actually pretty realistic.   Maybe that's why I was more bothered by it than a normal 80's style ultra violent movie.  I dunno.  I know the movie definitely bothered me more than a normal violent action movie.  Basically, when I started watching this movie, I was expecting Commando but instead got a bunch of documentary footage from Vietnam.

Friday, March 13, 2009

It's my birthday

So I'm going to play videogames... *thumbs up*

Monday, March 2, 2009

A dream that actually had to do with life...

This is a long post that doesn't make any sense:

So I had this dream that actually had stuff to do with everything I'm thinking about right now.  I was driving from my parents house to my graduation ceremony with a brown greyhound dog in the passenger seat named Pogo.  He was having digestive problems.  So I let him out and he did his thing (his really BIG thing) and then he got back in the car and we went off a jump I guess.

Along the way I picked up someone named Nate (he was my friend in the dream, I've never seen him before though), and Nick Bachman.  Nate was carrying a violin and we were all driving to graduation.

I got lost in the city driving down an alley that dead ended after much twisting and turning.  So backed up.  I realized that time was slowly running out and we had to be at the opening ceremony so we really booked it and I was really nervous and scared cause time was running out.

So we made it there, busting in through the doors.  The place had stadium seating like the IMAX and the whole ceremony was already happening.  I spoke to my parents real quick at the top of the seating area.  Then they started showing the hardships that some of the students faced on getting there tonight, mentioning this Nate guy and his violin.  I got pissed cause I was like "Wtf, I just picked him up cause I was being nice, I was the driver and it was scary and tense as hell!" and they kept kept KEPT talking about him.

Then a bunch of between 7-10 year old chinese kids in green t-shirts ran in with flags and stuff and started motioning for the audience to follow them out the door in a reasonable fashion, so I plunged down the stairs to get in my seat so the order wouldn't screw up.  We were led out a door and up some stairs to a sort of landing platform

The world was COMPLETELY different up here.  It's like I was a couple miles above the earth surrounded with clouds above and below me.  I was standing on a little patch of green grass, like a mountain top peaking above the clouds.  About 100 yards away, across the cloudy abyss was another mountain top, that's where the actual gradation ceremony would happen.  So they gave each of us this hot air balloon, but the balloon was only about as big as a large beanbag chair.  It had some netting over it that you had to hold on to and a hole you had to cover so the air wouldn't escape.  So basically, inflate a beanbag chair, cling to it, jump out into the abyss.  I explained my nervousness about this.  "How do you control where it goes?" "Oh don't worry, the wind will just take you right over to where you need to be." "The wind? That doesn't sound very reliable, what if I miss?" "You won't"  I was also nervous cause my Alzheimer's grandfather had to do this too.  Everyone had to do this and there was a line forming behind me.

So I did it.  I closed my eyes pretty hard, it was really scary.  Then I landed in this snowy place that was like a factory and waited for people to show up.  No one did except for one guy (He ran the factory).  I was like "Where is everyone?" and he's like "Right there" pointing about 20 yards over to my right.  I missed the island and landed on this one.  The only thing connecting the two islands above this vast chasm was a chain link fence on small natural rock bridge that spanned the gap.

I was like "fuuuuuuuuck!"

The guy started figuring out how I could launch myself over there with the balloon again by sliding down the snow really fast.  Then I would be working against the wind and then the wind would take over again, kind of looping me back on to the other island.  So I didn't wanna do that, but I did.

So I finally make it to the island and I go through a stone archway to find a sandy path that goes way up into the sky.  I walk up the path and there's a crossroads.  One keeps going up, and one goes down a little following almost the same path I took to go up, but separated by a rock wall.  So I take that one and it leads me down to a little alcove beach on the ocean where some folding chairs are set up.  People are waiting for the rest of the graduates to come.  Nancy Kahlow (my good high school art teacher) is there as a teacher, and Julie Kahlow (ex-girlfriend now extremely good friend) has a spot with the graduating students.  I sit next to her, we talk a little, it's nice.  Then I'm back in a parking lot of a cub foods (which is actually a hotel where my grandparents are staying) and I find out my dad and grandfather didn't attend the graduation cause they didn't think my grandfather could do the balloons.

So...  It got pretty crazy there near the end.  I feel like there was one other kind of "test" I had to do before I got to the balloons part, but I don't remember it.  The balloons were really scary, I'm sooooo afraid of heights.